Byron Katie

Born Byron Kathleen Reid in Breckenridge, Texas, in 1942 and raised in the Mojave Desert town of Barstow, California, Byron Katie worked in real estate and raised three children while descending during her thirties and early forties into severe depression, agoraphobia and self-loathing. In February 1986, while staying at a halfway house in Barstow, she woke on the floor with what she described as a sudden, clear recognition: when she believed her stressful thoughts, she suffered, and when she questioned them, she did not. From that turning point she began holding informal inquiry sessions that grew into an international workshop programme and bestsellers co-authored with her husband, writer and translator Stephen Mitchell, including Loving What Is (2002) and A Thousand Names for Joy (2007).

Her method, called "The Work," asks a person to write down a resentful or fearful judgment about another person on a worksheet and test each statement against four fixed questions: Is it true? Can you absolutely know that it’s true? How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought? Who would you be without the thought? The exercise concludes by "turning the thought around"—testing the opposite of the statement, directing it toward oneself, and directing it toward the other person—to see where the reversed statement also holds concrete examples.

While psychologists have noted functional parallels between The Work and Socratic questioning in cognitive restructuring, Katie’s public dialogues and absolute phrasing have also drawn serious ethical critique. When the turnaround exercise ("he hurt me" turned around to "I hurt him" or "I hurt myself") or the maxim of "loving what is" is applied mechanically to abuse, assault, systemic injustice or acute grief, it can slide into victim-blaming and premature passivity. Questioning an interpretation on paper is a reflective exercise for everyday resentment; it does not resolve trauma, excuse harm, or substitute for qualified clinical support and practical self-protection.

Used within sensible boundaries—for the ordinary workplace slights, family assumptions and rehearsed grievances that consume daily energy—writing a stressful accusation down and asking whether you can actually know what another person intended is a remarkably sober way to step out of a self-righteous story.